Laugh Lines: Classic Sitcom Quotes

By Michael Lyons    

 

Here we are in January and another New Year.  Resolutions are already crumbling under the weight of the stresses and anxiety carried over from the previous year.

We all need a good, retro laugh with moments from TV's most classic sitcoms and innocent times.

To help us ease into 2022, here are some fun and funny lines of dialogue from some of television's most famously funny shows:

 

Ricky (Desi Arnaz): "What did I say?"

Lucy (Lucille Ball):  "I don't know, but how dare you?!?"

- I Love Lucy

 Norton (Art Carney): "Like we say in the sewer, 'Time and tide wait for no man!'"

 - The Honeymooners

Darrin (Dick Sargent): "You know, Endora, sometimes you can be almost human."

Endora (Agnes Moorehead):  "This is no time to be insulting."

-Bewitched

Felix (Tony Randall): "What do you dream about?"

Oscar (Jack Klugman): "Living alone."

 - The Odd Couple

Fonzie (Henry Winkler): "You've got nothing to fear but fear itself."

Ritchie (Ron Howard): "Didn't somebody else say that?"

Fonzie: "Well, if they did, they got it from the Fonz."

 - Happy Days

Sam (Ted Danson): "Hey, what's happening, Norm?"

Norm (George Wendt): "It's a god-eat-dog world, Sammy, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear."

 - Cheers

Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld): "Is it about me?"

Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus): "No."

Jerry: "Then I've lost interest."

-Seinfeld

Rachel (Jennifer Aniston): "Hey guys, guess what?"

Chandler (Matthew Perry): "The fifth dentist caved, and now they're all recommending Trident?"

 - Friends

Jesse (John Stamos): "Joseph, it's finally happened.  He's cleaning liquid soap."

Danny (Bob Saget): "Don't be silly.  I'm just cleaning my rubber gloves."

Joey (Dave Coulier):  "Danny, there's no shame in therapy."

 - Full House

Rose (Betty White): "Boy, I remember on the farm, when we'd get depressed, Grandma could always cheer us up.  She'd take out her dentures and take a healthy swig of the aquarium and then hold a flashlight under her chin, so we could watch the goldfish swim from cheek to cheek.  Boy, we could have watched them all day, but visiting hours were only from 10 to 4."

 - The Golden Girls

 

Now that you're chuckling and remembering other funny moments, here's a new resolution: to binge these and any other classic sitcoms out there for a well-deserved break and a much-needed laugh.