Monday, April 19, 2021

Comedy Gold: A Look Back at Oscar Hosts’ Funniest Jokes

 By Michael Lyons

Like every other award show this season, who knows what this Sunday’s Academy Awards will look like. Most likely, a combination of social distant presenters with nominees and winners via Zoom, sitting in their living rooms wearing everything from ball gowns to baseball caps.

One thing is definite, this year’s broadcast (Sunday, April 25th at 8:00 EST on ABC) will follow a trend from the past several years’ shows and not have a host.

With no one “at the helm” for the Academy Awards Show it makes one nostalgic for times when some of entertainment’s brightest, sharpest and funniest comedians kept Hollywood in check, kept things moving and kept us laughing.

In honor of them, here’s a look back at past hosts (and hostesses) of the Oscars and some of their funniest jokes:

“Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires give each other golden statues.” - Billy Crystal (2012)

“Welcome to the Academy Awards, or as it’s known at my house, Passover.” - Bob Hope (1968)

“Oscar is the only 74-year-old man in Hollywood who doesn’t need Viagra to last three hours.” - Whoopi Goldberg (2002)

War and Peace cost $9 million.  That’s more than the real war cost.” - Jerry Lewis (1957)

“Remember, ladies and gentleman, nobody goes home empty handed tonight.  The losers all receive the new Oscar home game.” - Johnny Carson (1979)

“Who are we kidding, it’s The Hunger Games.  There’s cameras everywhere, you’re starving and Jennifer Lawrence won last year.” - Ellen DeGeneres (2014)

“Ladies and gentlemen, hold on to your wigs and keys, it’s time to start passing out Academy Awards!” - David Letterman (1995)

“There’s no acting at the Oscars.  The only acting you ever see at the Oscars is when people act like they’re not mad they lost.” - Chris Rock (2005)

“Good evening, Hollywood phonies.” - Chevy Chase (1988)

“All the films this year that have been nominated are excellent films.  They deal with racism, corruption, terrorism and censorship.  It’s why we go to the movies: to escape.” - Jon Stewart (2006)

“Meryl Streep holds the record for most nominations as an actress.  Or, as I like to think of it, most losses” - Steve Martin (2010)


And so, even though this year we won’t see the comic control that these and many other hosts have brought to the Academy Awards, movies fans are still grateful for the Oscars, in any form!










Monday, April 12, 2021

Unreality TV: Classic Fantasy Sitcoms (and Simpler Times)

 By Michael Lyons

If the past year has taught us anything, it’s that Reality TV seems to be happening all the time.  And these aren't shows about Housewives in a major city; it was all that the world brought our way coming into our living room on the news.

Something that we’ve all needed is a break, a little “unreality TV.”  In the 1960s, this was seemingly the norm, as a number of sitcoms revolved around storylines that couldn’t be further removed from reality.

These fantasy-based sitcoms may just make for the perfect escape needed now.  Tune in, check out and go back to a time when prime-time television came with a load of laugh tracks and a preposterous premise.


Mister Ed, CBS, 1961-1966

“A Horse is a horse, of course, of course...” is how the famous theme song to this show began.  In the series, the title character, Mister Ed, can talk to his human owner Wilber Post (Alan Young).  

Cowboy movie star Allan Lane provided the voice of Mister Ed but wasn’t billed in the credits.  There have also been many theories through the years as to how Mister Ed’s lips moved (including peanut butter being placed on the horse’s gums), but the actual method was kept a secret.

It was all part of the producers’ plans to keep the fantasy aspect of the show alive.  It worked for audiences, as Mister Ed was a hit.  It was also one of the first of the far-fetched sitcoms but would in no way be the last.

My Favorite Martian, CBS, 1963-1966

Actor Ray Walston (who had won a Tony for Damn Yankees and would later play Mr. Hand in 1984’s Fast Times at Ridgemont High) played “Exigiius Twelve and a Half,” from the planet Mars who crash lands on Earth.  He is rescued and taken in by newspaper reporter Tim O’ Hara (Bill Bixby), who lets the Martian stay with him under the guise that he is his “Uncle Martin.”

And, you guessed it, Martin’s “powers” (accompanied by small antennae that would rise out of his head) resulted in some awkward situations for Tim, laughs for audiences at the time and, now quaint, 60s-era special effects for all of us today.

 

Bewitched, ABC, 1964-1972

In Salem, Massachusetts, a young businessman, Darrin Stephens, is married to Samantha, who happens to be a witch.  Her use of witchcraft and Darrin’s desperate attempts to hide this was the plot of almost every episode.

Elizabeth Montgomery was very good as the matter-of-fact witch in this top-rated sitcom that’s become famous for so much: the replacement of Dick York with almost-identical actor Dick Sargent in 1969; a cast of impressive supporting/recurring actors, such as Agnes Moorehead and Paul Lynde and character Gladys Kravitz, whose name has become synonyms with the “overtly nosy neighbor.”

 

Gilligan’s Island, CBS, 1964-1967

This was it, the “tale of our castaways,” who, after a “three-hour tour” gone wrong, find themselves stranded on a deserted, tropical island.  From creator Sherwood Schwartz (who would also bring us The Brady Bunch), the show played like a live-action cartoon (and later was one on Saturday mornings) and became synonyms with unrealistic television.

Decried by critics and those who turned up their noses on the series at the time, Gilligan’s Island was, and is, continually passed on to new generations through endless years in reruns.  The show has entered our pop culture as an endlessly memorable comfort food-type show.

 




The Addams Family, ABC, 1964-1966 & The Munsters, CBS, 1964-1966 

Two shows that were seemingly cut from the same cloth both debuted the same year and had similar runs.

The Addams Family was based on the famous cartoons from artist Charles Addams, about a "creepy and cooky" macabre family. Simultaneously, The Munsters looked at the titular family on 1313 Mockingbird Lane, which seems comprised of members of Universal studio's monsters.

Both got laughs as the families interacted with the terrified "real world.”  Still, both shows, in their humorously twisted ways, also commented on acceptance of differences and family strength.

It's no wonder that both popular shows continue to be re-made, re-booted, and serve as inspiration for comedically creepy movies and tv shows.

 

I Dream of Jeannie, NBC, 1965-1970

Nasa astronaut Tony Nelson (Larry Hagman) stumbles across a bottle when his capsule goes down on an island in the South Pacific.  When he takes the top off the bottle, a beautiful genie named Jeannie (Barbara Eden) appears in a swirl of smoke, and Tony finds that he is her "master."

Back home in Cocoa Beach, Florida, the slapstick shenanigans ensue, every time Jeannie crosses her arms and blinks her eyes to make one of her master's wishes come true.

Hagman and Eden had great chemistry, and both played their role so well.  Eden's naivete of our modern world was so genuine, and Hagman's frenetic reactions ("Jeannie!") never fail to be perfect in their comic execution.

 

There were other shows like these, many of which didn't last (such as the self-explanatory My Mother the Car and Sherwood Schwartz's time-travel comedy, It's About Time), all of them representing an era when "guilty pleasures" seemed to be part of part-time programming.

While there is so much more hope now than there was this time last year, an "escape" with any of these shows from the innocent time of "unreality TV" may still be what we all need.

 

 

 

 

Monday, April 5, 2021

Outstanding in Their Field: The 45th Anniversary of “The Bad News Bears”

 


By Michael Lyons

The movie that taught a generation about baseball, sportsmanship...and profanity is turning 45!  The original 1976 comedy classic The Bad News Bears was, and still is, a movie unlike any other.

The film centered on a group of misfits on the world's worst little league baseball team, who find themselves coached by a washed-up, alcoholic ex-major league player named Morris Buttermaker (Walter Matthau in a performance that’s become iconic).  To save the team, Buttermaker enlists the help of stellar tomboy pitcher Amanda Whurlitzer (Tatum O’Neal, a great child actress and mature beyond her years), as well as a tough loner named Kelly Leak (Jackie Earle Haley).  They soon find themselves one of the best teams in an overly competitive minor league.

The Bad News Bears was groundbreaking in that, unlike past “family comedies,” this one had a real edge to it.  The kids on the Bears spoke their mind, which included politically incorrect references and a flurry of four-letter words, particularly from one of the players, Tanner (Chris Barnes).  He's one of the many young actors in the film who deliver distinct, solid performances.  

Additionally, as the Bears team was made up of kids who were all different shapes, sizes, and different ethnicities, the film reflected a diversity not often seen in movies at this time.

Director Michael Ritchie, an underrated comedy director who had helmed such films as The Candidate (1972) and Smile (1975), brings a level of realism here (anyone who has ever played in or attended a little league game will no doubt be in awe of how well it is captured).

Ritchie also allows the film to stop for moments of drama, such as a scene involving the competing team's hard-driving coach (played excellently by Vic Morrow) and his son, who is the pitcher (played by Brandon Cruz).

The sequence is heartbreaking and is one of many scenes in which The Bad News Bears makes a statement about sports competition and its impact on children. 

Released on April 7, 1976, the film was a box office hit.  The title itself entered our pop culture sports lexicon as shorthand for any team that is struggling.

The Bad News Bears also spawned two sequels, a TV series, and a re-make in 2005.

But for the generation who grew up with the film and passed it on to future generations, 1976's The Bad News Bears remains in a league all of its own.